My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
