I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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