your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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