Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
