I can tuck mytits in my pants
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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