Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
it was like having sex with a tree stump
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
