Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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