I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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