Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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