No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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