omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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