Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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