Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
