So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
