I cockslap morals
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
