I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
