Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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