i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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