i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
