Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
