We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
