he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
