I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
