Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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