I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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