They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
