drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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