Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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