tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
