That's when you crack a 10am beer
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
