I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
