you would pick up someone in the library
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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