This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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