She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I need to calm my uterus...
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
