did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
