Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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