I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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