If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
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