Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Randomize
