apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
