i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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