We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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