we're blogging at a bar
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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