If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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