apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
