So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Randomize
