Only a mothe r could love this liver
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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