The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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