Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
