In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
