He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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