It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
