so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
