My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
