And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize