Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
