He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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