The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
