Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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