I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
